Hi friends, thank you for entrusting me with your heart during this time. I want you to know this pain won’t last forever and you will overcome. I invite you over virtually through this blog post. Take off your shoes, grab a warm throw blanket from the sofa and just relax. I have a pot of tea on for you along with homemade chicken rice soup. I want to share with you what I learned from the Holy Spirit and just exactly how to get through. Now that the tea kettle has chimed, I will come over and sit with you to talk things through. Now let’s get you on the track to healing, overcoming, and thriving.
- The Sweetest Therapy: Did you know that the Holy Spirit is our counselor and comforter? The Bible reads in John 14:26-27 “But the counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; I do not give to you as the world gives. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” Our Father knows exactly how to heal us and we can find that in calling unto the Holy Spirit for guidance and answers to problems in which we do not understand. I am blessed to also have a spiritual mentor whom I can talk things through from a Godly perspective. I believe it’s so important that we have people in our lives that can speak the word over us during troubled times. Therapy is a great way to overcome life’s challenges, especially when it’s based on the word of God. Friend, know that through Jesus Christ you have access to the greatest counselor of all time and that is the Holy Spirit. Once you come into a relationship with Christ and join in prayer with the Holy Spirit, there isn’t anything you cannot overcome.
- Find Peace by asking yourself this question: What did I learn and how did I grow? My spiritual mentor once shared this question with me (“what did you learn and how did you grow”)? This question shifted my outlook to a more positive perspective. Many times when we leave a relationship, we think about what was lost. In actuality we were growing and transforming the entire time. I encourage you to write this question in your journal and focus on only what you learned and how you grew. Answering this question shifts you to having a growth-mindset rather than carrying forth as a victim. You were made to overcome, and with this mindset you are moving yourself into an empowered position. Friends, I have a feeling that pretty soon you won’t need the tissue box any longer. I feel your strength shinning through already.
- Understanding God’s Will: To understand God’s will for our lives, we must first understand what His word says. In Jeremiah 29:11 God tells us “For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper (bless, bring what is good, succeed) you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s plans for us are good, yet it does not mean that everything will be perfect or that we won’t face trials, but what is from God will be good. As you begin to study God’s word and seek His presence in all areas of your life, He will bring peace that surpasses all understanding. You will learn to be led by God and begin to receive His best, even when it comes to relationships.
- Understanding the Season You’re in: The word tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:1 “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” My prayer dear friends is that this word will bring comfort to you in your current season. Once you understand God’s will for your life, you will also know that there is an ordained time already written by God for the desires of your heart to come to pass. My encouragement is that you do not look at what everyone else is doing and keep your focus on the path that God has laid out for you. I know It may be tempting to catch up with your friends that may already be happily married with children; however, instead of focusing on where they are in their season, send them blessings and love while you place your focus back on your season. To be Transparent, I am in a season of working in my field (as Ruth did in the Bible, I will explain in the next paragraph). In my current season, as much as I would love to get married, I know that God is calling me into my purpose. While in my purpose, I trust that God will fulfill His promises to me in His perfect timing. I encourage you to seek God about your current season. Is there something you should be working on? Is there an area you can focus on developing in? Can you spend more time with family in this season? Is there a hobby you have been wanting to partake in? Do you want to learn a new language or go back to school? If God were to bring your spouse into your life six months from now, would you be ready or still moping around?
- Understanding Your Purpose: Purpose provides meaning, motivation, and an overall sense of direction in life. If you have yet to discover your purpose, I encourage you to seek God for it. In the meantime, keep it simple. My general life purpose in which will also be my future household’s purpose is simply: Mathew 6:33 “But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” I can already imagine my Future Husband and our children moving through life with a common goal and purpose, simply seeking Jesus all the days of our lives while setting a new family dynamic for the generations to come. In the meantime of having my own family, God has me on a mission for Him and that is my purpose. I started writing at eight years old as it came to me naturally. As I became a teenager and then a young adult, I did what I wanted to do with my life, but God kept nudging me until finally I began to write again. The only difference is that my writing is now for the Kingdom of God. When we look at the story of Ruth in the Bible, after Ruth’s husband and father-in-law passed away, Ruth had a choice to leave her mother-in-law Naomi behind and live her own life selfishly or she could stay with her mother-in-law. In this case, Ruth chose commitment over comfort, she would not leave Naomi by stating in Ruth 1:16 “urge me to not leave you or to turn back from following you; for where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people and your God my God.” In choosing this path to be selfless, Ruth stepped right into her field and that is where Boaz found her working in his field. Ruth was in her purpose and found favor with the Lord and with Boaz. In this story, Ruth ends up married to Boaz. Can you imagine if she would have been selfish and followed her own way? Naomi would have suffered alone and Ruth would have never met and married Boaz. Do you see why understanding (the will of God, your season, and your purpose) is important? Our purpose is not just for us, it brings glory to God and blesses others. In turn we reap a harvest of blessing that we could never achieve on our own. Dear Friends, if you are hurting in this season I encourage you to read the story of Ruth and seek God on your purpose. In the beginning, Ruth lost a lot, but this did not stop her from extending kindness to Naomi and it did not stop her from walking into her purpose and reaping a harvest of blessing. You never know who is watching. God was looking out for Ruth, and Ruth looked out for Naomi. In return, Ruth found favor with Boaz and her latter days were extremely blessed.
- Make Time for Self-Care: I encourage you to get moving just as Ruth did. Ruth did not wait for things to become perfect. She kept a heart of kindness which blossomed into her outer beauty having her stand out in the field. During this time as you heal, find some time to be kind to yourself. Here are some self-care activities to help you incorporate self-love as you heal and become whole again:
- Journal throughout your healing process
- Make time for Prayer (Release it all over to God and thank Him in advance for your healing)
- Redesign your living space to cultivate more Peace
- Throw away old things that bring about painful memories
- Buy yourself some flowers to brighten up your place
- Take a class or participate in something that has been on your list forever
- Call or go visit someone in your family whose heart you can make smile
- Give yourself a spa day at home
- Eat nutritious meals (junk food will only make you feel worse later)
- Make a list on the things you love about yourself and thank God for these attributes/characteristics/traits
- Get out in nature (take a walk with a friend that uplifts you or a family member)
- Find a way to give back within your community
- Read books on Healing and Self-Love (You know my first recommendation is the Bible 🙂
I hope this message helps and heals someone. Remember, you get to choose how you feel and where you place your focus. Choose hope, forgiveness, peace, new beginnings, a new narrative, and most importantly choose the will of God. ❤
God loves you and I love you. Happy Healing.